Monstro Makes

Reviews

Cities of Death by Games Workshop
Official info here
Overpriced crap here

Well, I wasn’t tapped for playtesting or anything like that, but as a scenery guy, you can imagine how excited I was by Cities of Death. I am pretty against 40k boards that look like the Space Marines are attempting to stop the evil of the World Eaters from killing Bambi’s mother. You know who you are; you have a thousand dollars worth of Tau, you’ve painted them to a Golden Demon standard so that they can fight in…a meadow.

So, that’s my main reason for wholeheartedly endorsing Cities of Death. Even had they based the supplement on Rogue Trader rules and reintroduced the Slann, I still would have been for the push for people to make their battlefields look like something out of Terminator or Universal Soldier. 40k is a long way in the future after 38,000 years of intergalactic war. I’m not sure there are any trees left (unless they’re like man eating and have steel bark or something like that).

Now a confession, I liked Cityfight. Mainly, the problem with that supplement was that so many rules were changed in order to prop up a crappy cover system within the game mechanic that it was like playing 40k for people who could get close to the table and do a bit of math. Plus, rules for sentry drones and turrets and crap like that. This is my major complaint about 40k. How come no one thought in 38,000 years to put a gun on the building made of steel reinforced four feet of concrete. I mean, the thing can survive a orbital bombardment, but it is defenseless against an Eldar guardian squad unless the five marines out front can step up to the plate.

Cities of Death kind of handles sentries, but that’s not the main advantage to the book. By the way, for those of you saying, “no, in fact, they don’t handle sentries,” it’s a booby trap stratagem. And for those of you who are asking, “what’s a stratagem?” Those are the things that Cities of Death really add to the game, and they range from new ways to come onto the board to the ability to blow up buildings to razorwire.

Now, here are a few of my complaints. There already should have been a way to blow up scenery and there already should have been rules for razorwire and minefields that were easy to use and would come up every game. There are a lot of players out there, and if you have ONE guy in the group who says things like, “what’s that?” or “I don’t think we should put down stuff like that?” or “how does that work again?” forget it. Relying on house rules for this means that no one makes their battlefield look like a battlefield, but I digress.

Cities of Death doesn’t exactly solve the problem to my satisfaction. You can destroy building and scenery, but the only things that really work (aside from the Demolition Strategem) are Strength 10 weapons. DAMN! It would have been nice to make it harder for the lascannons and bright lances to take out the ministrations building, but it still should have been possible. This brings up another point: Cities of Death defines a state of building between total decimation and “aint it pretty” where basically the building is treacherous ground. I would suggest that either you make all the buildings in your Cities of Death games treacherous ground or at least make them more numerous than the supplement suggests.

Here’s why. Unless you’ve taken a hit to the head recently, you’re pretty much assured a 4+ invulnerable save in Cities of Death. For those of you who haven’t read the supplement, I’ll say that again. 4+ Invulnerable Save. For everyone. City ruins, 4+ invulnerable. City building 4+ invulnerable. Basically, if you’re involved with any part of the board other than blank areas 4+ Invulnerable. And there are stratagems that will make that better. Not to mention Chameleoline, or crazy Ranger stuff. That means that there are troops that might have a 2+ Invulnerable Save. Great.

Yes, but everyone gets those save so it’s all fair, right?

Wrong.

Space Marines and Chaos and those kinds of troops pay for their armor save. In some cases they pay through the nose. Other troops, say Dark Eldar Wytches only work because their save is crap. Give them a good save and there’s no stopping them. Let me try this another way. The Dark Eldar guardian costs something like 8 pts, and for an additional few points (I think 12, but don’t quote me) you can give a whole bunch of them dark lances. That’s a crap load of guys for 20 points with strength 8 weapons and a 4+ invulnerable save. Think of an army like IG. You give them a 4+ invulnerable save without making anything harder for them and you’ve handed them the game.

If you make more buildings treacherous ground, then at least occasionally, people will have to make a save against their armor rather than their cover, and in that situation the high armored people will at least get some return for their points, though admittedly, not much. But something is better than nothing.

Plus, a bunch of dangerous ground is going to make all those poorly armored assault troops think twice about just running through a condemned building. Yes, the Wytches will get a 4+ Invulnerable, but fewer will reach you.

I think without altering the rules at least a little bit, either don’t play Space Marines or only get those stratagems that allow you to turn buildings into dangerous terrain and use them right away. But that’s unfortunate because it means that you’ll never get to buy much else. And come on…don’t we all want a dreadnaught with a wrecking ball.

Yes, I think we do.

Woodland Scenics Realistic Water

The whole thing started when someone on one of my Ebay auctions asked me if I ever made rivers. Two things: first of all, I can see how many (but not who) are watching my auctions. If there is one or two people, no big deal, but three and above is generally a good indication that something is going to sell, though not always. Second, people can ask me questions or contact me quite at their leisure on Ebay and some do. I see both of these occasions as opportunities to feel proud of my work. It’s easy to get discouraged when you put something up for auction and it simply doesn’t sell. It’s easy to think that it’s because you flubbed it, or you’re not very good at this, or whatever, but the truth is items sometimes just don’t sell. The time of month and its proximity to the day the rent is due has a lot to do with it, but in some cases, nobody’s interested in broken imperial symbols that week. No big whoop. It’s important during those times to have other means of measuring your success, and I find that comments from Ebay’ers and silent watchers are a comfort to me.

Anyway, when someone asks you if you’ll make something, it’s sort of exciting. First of all, if one person asks, you assume there are ten more who are just waiting. That means there’s a market for the thing you want to make. Second, if someone asks, it means that someone is watching you work, and I don’t care what anyone says, artist’s need an audience. And yes, I kind of consider myself an artist.

So, when someone asked me if I would make a river, my response was a resounding yes. Now it was just a matter of making the damn river.

Every site I looked at told me that a river could not be made from resin on top of Styrofoam. For good reason, but I’ll get to that. And so I began the way any idiot would begin. I began by making the river “piece” so that I could mold it, so that I could cast something not made out of Styrofoam that I could pour resin into. Do you see what I’m essentially saying? No Styrofoam allowed meant that I had to make a river bank out of plaster. I figured I had to make four pieces: 2 straight, one 90 degree turn, and one T. First, I made the entire river plate with a base of foam core and sides made out of plaster of paris with the rocks in. Once dried, I brushed on the latex and quick dried it with a blowdrier.

In 85 degree heat with a hundred percent humidity.

I applied eight layers. They all, of course, ripped, because latex is useless.

I figured that the problem was the texture (since that’s where the latex ripped) so I made the next piece without texture. Just a bank made out of Styrofoam on a foam core plank. I covered that with latex which I forced dry with a hair drier and it too ripped because, as I mentioned before, latex is useless.

It was then that I decided that I could try Realistic Water from Woodland Scenics. I suppose this could be a review of latex, in that it is utterly and totally useless, and under no circumstance should you use it to make molds of things for miniature wargaming (the jury’s still out for larger things, but then, I don’t make larger things). But it isn’t a review of latex at all. Look anywhere on the internet and it’ll tell you, “don’t use liquid latex.” There’s always a bit of back peddling about it—I think because casters and mold makers are convinced that someone must be having success with liquid latex as it’s still on the market and seems to be doing pretty well, but I can assure you, don’t buy it. Maybe after years of experience you can cast things, but you won’t with your first fifteen jars of the stuff. If you’re going to use it, use it to make creepy alien effects.

The thing is, I figured that the realistic water would be my white knight coming to rescue this pitiful project from the realm of the impossible. After all, it is something like $15 a bottle. And I didn’t even care about the price. If I had to go through 6 bottles to make one river, fine, as long as I made the river..

Well, let’s see, first off Woodland Scenics advises that you see off the basin that is to hold the Realistic water. Here’s what I did. I assumed that the plaster on the banks would hold back the sides of the basin and for the front and back of the stream, I applied about a half inch of hot glue. The hot glue had the added benefit of looking enough like water that I could streak it down the plate and make wave effects when the Realistic water was poured. Then I poured the Realistic Water.

Okay, first of all, the realistic water molecule must be smaller than air. I poured water in plates later to test its seal. It didn’t matter, the realistic water was pouring through the basin within an hour on anything I poured it into. I am convinced that if poured into a glass, the next day, the glass would be empty surrounded by a puddle of Realistic Water.

And it wouldn’t be dry because Realistic Water takes something like three days to dry. If the price of this product wasn’t prohibitive, consider those two characteristics: it won’t stay where it’s supposed to go, and it takes an ungodly amount of time to dry.

In short, don’t buy this product.

Thus ends the review of Realistic Water. The solution to my dilemma is continued over in tips, under making water out of resin.