About Monstro

In real life, I am not a whale.  In fact, I weigh about 200 lbs.  which is not exactly svelte or anything, but still, not whale like.  Did I mention that I'm 5' 1".  Just kidding.  That would be funny though, yes?

In real life, I am a father and a husband; a student pursuing a Ph.D. in American Studies (I analyze the use of Nazis in American film, literature, and rhetoric--this is no indication of my own personal views which are pretty not those of Nazis, neo or otherwise), and an instructor at two universities.  Sometimes I even get students who play Warhammer 40k.

Some time around 1988 I went to Dundracon, back when it was held right across from the Oakland Coliseum.  While walking through that con, I saw that somebody had built a tank that was two feet high and three feet long.  I said, "wow!  3d Ogre" and I was corrected.  No, not 3d Ogre; Warhammer 40k.  It was the scenery and the warmachines that drew me in.  Oh, I understood that people painted miniatures.  I even painted some, but nothing like this.  This was less game, more art, and believe me, back in those days, it wasn't much game.

And so, I picked up an army.  Orks.  Thirteen lead in a box for fifteen bucks or something.  My friends picked up their armies and pretty soon we were all battling it out.  We even played a game now and again. 

It wasn't long before I realized that I would never paint miniatures like White Dwarf.  It just wasn't going to happen.  Since that time, I've gotten better, and also, I've stopped playing Orks, but that's not really the point (I am still god awful slow at painting and in 18 years haven't managed to get a single army painted).  Even as early as when we first started playing, I was trying to recreate that first board.  It was like a fallen Parthenon or something, cut down the middle of a dirt field peppered with craters by fallen arches and a stone foundation.  Man, it was cool.  I bought plastic flowers and spread them around the board.  I built walls out of dominoes, rivers out of bluebacked playing cards.  I strung out bands of tin foil and coiled them up like sections of razorwire.  I glued cotton across rings for gas grenades.  I may not have had the capacity to paint my miniatures like white dwarf, but I sure as hell could make their scenery.  Eventually I got tools to match the talent.  Now, its almost two decades later

What does experience mean, I guess, is an important question.  The truth is that, as with painting, there are people who are just born with an eye for making scenery and that's fine.  I think I have that eye.  But it means nothing if you don't have a few other skills that are just as important.  You need a skull the size of your thumb.  What kind of instinct tells you where to find that?  You need to know how to make foam core easier to cut.  Trial and error my friends.  I have eighteen years of trial and error.

So that's me, I suppose.  Enough of an explanation for most people as far as the business end is concerned.  I suppose I could add, maybe should add, that I think of my work as art.  I like making it, but I don't like making it routine.  There's a challenge to this, that's what I'm going for.  Now, this is a business so I appreciate customers and all that, but seriously don't feel bad just looking around; I appreciate feedbacks on fans without the desire to buy just as much as the fans who want me to build them a table.

Oh, and I've got a link to my miniatures (in case you are interested).  None are for sale.  Sorry.  They take me between 4 and 5 hours to paint and so I would just be losing money if I sold one.